The Day They Found Out
by kakashidiot
Summary: NEW CHAP UP! The Ramen Shop is packed out as everybody watches and waits for Iruka's mysterious lover. Who figures out the mystery next? RandR!
1. Konohamaru's Discovery

**I don't own Naruto - wish I did - but I don't (goes off to be depressed)**

**Enjoy and read and review! Pllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee!**

**It'll make my day and make this worth more!

* * *

**

The Day they Found Out

**Chapter One: Konohamaru's Discovery**

Fate, according to Iruka, can be very vicious.

And Iruka is rarely wrong.

Which Kakashi might argue otherwise.

But it is true.

In fact, pure accident had revealed the ninjas' secret – and the first person to see their daily lunch kiss – the sweet, pure classroom terror known as Konohamaru – hadn't really clued into what was happening.

He talked it over with his two friends the next day during lunch time.

"Are you sure?" asked Udon.

"I'm sure," Konohamaru shook his head. "Iruka-sensei was kissing somebody with a MAN'S voice!" He sounded shocked.

All three kids stared, trying to imagine their loud, strict sensei as somebody with a girlfriend – a girlfriend with a MAN's voice.

"Was he – he cute?" asked Moegi, with a blush.

The two boys blinked at her.

"WHAT THE HELL?" asked Konohamaru. "THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY ABOUT IRUKA-SENSEI KISSING SOMEBODY? We've got to find out! Time for action!"

"And you think it's a guy…" Udon sniffed, wiping his runny nose.

"Well, you said the person had a MAN'S voice!"

"Whatever! It's a mystery that Team Konohamaru will solve no problem!"

And his cape flowed back bravely.

The next day, they passed by innocently together and peeked through the slightly open classroom – just in time to see a ninja disappear out the window.

A ninja with grey hair.

And Iruka-sensei's face was red.

Moegi squealed.

Outside, they just stood there.

Iruka-sensei was going out with an old hag? With a man's voice?


	2. Naruto Spreads the Word

**I don't own Naruto - wish I did - but I don't (goes off to be depressed)**

**Enjoy and read and review! Pllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee!**

**It'll make my day and make this worth more!**

* * *

The Day They Found Out

**Chapter 2: Naruto Spreads the Word**

"Is that possible?" Naruto asked Konohamaru again, as they sat together in the IchiRaku Ramen shop.

"I don't know – but I saw him!" Konohamaru's brown eyes were round.

"Iruka-sensei? I don't think Iruka-sensei would KISS anybody! He's not an open pervert like the Ero-sannin or a closet pervert like Ebisu-sensei…."

Konohamaru shook his head. "He was kissing an old ninja with a man's voice."  
"Ehhhh…. Perhaps it was henge or something…" Naruto shrugged. "Who cares what Iruka-sensei is doing, really? I'm sure there's an explanation…"  
"What's Iruka-sensei doing, Naruto?" asked Sakura.

Behind her, Sasuke stood, glaring at the pink-haired Genin and his blonde, noisy teammate respectively.

Konohamaru just stared.

"Eh… nii-chan… It's that mean girl…"

Sasuke glared off into the distance. "Feh."

"Well…"  
Sakura waited.

Then Naruto sighed and told Konohamaru's story.

* * *

The next day, when Team 7 went around to the mission office, they stared extra hard at Iruka-sensei. But he seemed the same. His smile was still big, his eyes were still kind, he still blushed a lot and he still yelled at Naruto's stupidity. His ponytail was still perky and he still complained about the state of Kakashi's mission reports.

As they watched their old sensei berate their new sensei (very red in the face, the both of them), they wondered what kind of person would kiss such a strict man like Iruka-sensei.

"It's impossible," Sakura decided that night, walking home alone with her team (Kakashi had disappeared to 'write' the 'mission report').

"It's stupid to think on, I'm going home," Sasuke snorted.

"Hn…" Naruto said. "You've got no care, Sasuke, you bastard…. But then… who knows… what if Iruka's dating Tsunade-sama?"

Sasuke froze mid-step trying to visualize Iruka and Tsunade on a date.

"Or maybe he's going out with the village elder lady."

Sasuke shuddered.

"OR MAYBE he's going out with a guy!"  
Sasuke turned around and sighed.

"Fine. We should go check it out at lunch time."

* * *

The next day was the first day in human history that Kakashi arrived first to Team 7's meeting spot. Nobody was there – so he decided to spend his waiting time with better pursuits…

Lunch time began – Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura – disguised as parcels in the hallway watched avidly through the crack in the door as they watched a shinobi slip out of Iruka's window.

The crack of the door was very small. All they saw was grey hair and a green vest. They went to the Ramen shop for further thought.

"A shinobi then," Sasuke said. "No problem."

"Yeah, that narrows the list down quite a bit."

"What list?" asked Ino.

"GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"  
Team 7 screamed like girls as Shikamaru and his team suddenly materialized (seemingly out of nowhere).

that's what happens when one gets too involved in a discussion

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino sing-songed, slinging her arms around her love. "C'mon! Let me help you! Is it shopping?"  
"No, idiot! It's something else entirely, pig!" Sakura screeched.

**Her Inner Sakura bellowed. "Get your hands off him, BITCH!"**

"Oh yeah, well, Sasuke-kun, I'm better at finding things than big forehead girl…"

Ino stuck out her tongue at Sakura.

"Pig! Get away! We don't need you!"  
"Well, sounds like you got problems, big forehead girl!"  
"Stop calling me that, pig!"

"Forehead girl!"  
"Pig!"  
"Forehead girl!"  
They bickered, the boys sweat-dropped.

Shino's team came up – followed closely by Gai's Team.

"What's happening?" asked Kiba loudly, drowning out the two bickering Genin girls.

"Nothing." Sasuke glared off into the horizon.

Neji also posed tragically to think about birds and fate. Between the two silent poster-boy Genins with their angst battle and Shino's silent character, Hinata sweat-dropped.

"N-n-n-naruto-kun…" She whispered, tapping her forefingers together.

"Ehhhh?" Naruto asked staring at Shikamaru. "Did you hear something?"

Shikamaru just sighed and said it was too troublesome to explain.

Chouji merely munched on his food.

"What's the problem, Sakura-chan?" asked Lee, posing as a nice guy.

Ten-ten sweat-dropped.

"It's – nothing," Sakura said.

Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Can you guys keep a secret?" he asked.

All the Genins leaned in.


	3. Genin Plan of Action

**I don't own Naruto - wish I did - but I don't (goes off to be depressed)**

**Enjoy and read and review! Pllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeee!**

**It'll make my day and make this worth more!**

* * *

They Day They Found Out

**Chapter 3: Genin Action Plan**

They leaned forward excited.

Even Neji.

A few minutes later, they were all deep in thought.

"Can't be my sensei…"

"Could be a henge, though…"

"But a MAN'S voice?"

"Very odd…"  
"This is stupid…"

"Too troublesome."  
"munchmunchwell, at least Iruka-sensei's getting lunch fresh munchmunch Dad says that's true love – sharing food…. Munchmunchmunch…"  
"No way! How cute!"

"I thought that first, pig!"  
"Shut up, forehead girl!"

"B-b-b-b-but… who-who could it be… a – a –a man! Eeeee…."

* * *

That night the Genins went to bed very thoughtful and the next morning when it was time to hand out mission reports, Iruka felt very odd – like he was stuffed animal at an exhibition.

_Why the heck was Neji staring at him with the Byukugan?_

_And even Lee seemed to be -…. _

_Was Hinata trying to say something?  
How could one explain Shino's proverb about 'journey's end in lover's meeting'?_

_Why did Ino give him a bouquet?_

_Was it -?  
No._

_They had beyond discreet._

_Blame Kakashi's paranoia._

_Or maybe his awareness of parent's reactions…_

_Not that – then why?_

* * *

"Hmmm… he didn't seem that odd…" drawled Shikamaru. "Let's forget this troublesome thing and just let him do his own thing."

"You mean, you couldn't figure it out?" asked Ino, incredulously.

"Working as a Chuunin is HARD! If only I had known better, I wouldn't have gone into such a troublesome exam! (sigh) So, no… I haven't really been able to think much on it." Shikamaru lied glibly, thinking about the time he spent with Iruka in the classroom and in the mission room.

His old Academy Teacher when bored loved to doodle mohegi figures. Shikamaru wasn't stupid. Neither was he interested. He merely shrugged his shoulders. If Iruka and Pakkun's owner had a thing going, it was only going to be trouble for Shikamaru if he stuck his nose into a fellow Chuunin and Jounin's affairs.

Chouji paused for a moment to consider Shikamaru's evasive eye action.

_So he knows… eh… Chouji shrugged. If he doesn't care, why worry?_

He went back to his eating.

"We should be able to figure this out," TenTen snorted. "No problem. By analysis, by detecting and by cutting down the options."

Shino nodded. "Thinking clearly solves many future problems. Who would like to go where angels fear to tread?"  
There was a confused silence as everybody tried to understand bug boy.

Akamaru barked.

"Don't worry!" Kiba said loudly. "Akamaru's right! We'll sniff him out in no time."  
"But maybe we should ask questions first!" Lee suggested clenching his fist. "The wisdom of our sensei, surely is a well of learning and knowledge that we in the spring time of our youth can depend upon."

Everybody blinked.

"WHAT THE HELL? Why does bushy eyebrows always talk so funny?"

Sakura grabbed Lee's crutch and whacked Naruto over the head. "Stop making fun of him, Naruto!"

The group then broke up and the Jounin sensei interrogation began.

* * *

"So… Kaka-sensei… do you have – er – well… any sisters?"

"Ehh, Sakura-chan?" asked Kakashi snapping his book shut with a leery air. "Sisters?"

"Sisters."

There was an air of excitement as Naruto picked up a can and threw it in the garbage bin, trying to look like he wasn't listening and utterly failing.

"Sisters? No. None."

"How about… um… a girl cousin?"

"Girl cousins… mmm… No. None."

"An aunt? A female – er – distantly related to you?"

"No. Not at all… umm… what's the problem? You got a genealogy assignment from your parents or something?" Kakashi stared suspiciously down at the girl.

Sakura blinked.

"Errrr… no… it's just that I wondered if you had any family left."  
"No. I'm the one and only Hatake!" Kakashi's eye curved up in a smile (the better to hide his pain).

"The only one?"

Sakura's mind boggled.

_The only one._

"Your dad and mom are dead, you mean?" She asked timidly.

Kakashi stared at her.

She blushed suddenly aware she was trespassing on a huge load of social rules.

"Aren't you supposed to be picking up garbage?" he asked after a long moment.

Sakura nodded and turned away – confused and sad.

"Sensei –" she stopped hesitantly.

"What, Sakura…" Kakashi sighed, hand frozen as it pulled his Icha Icha out mid-way.

"Ummm… did you get your hair colour from your Mom or your Dad?"

"My…" Kakashi paused and then, smiled again. "My father."

"Oh… so you look more like your dad…"

"I think so."

Sakura scuttled away.

_I think so._

_It had sounded so – sad? Bitter? Angry?_

A lot of emotions had gone into that 'I think so'.

* * *

Gai's team had a much, much, much rockier time. That is to say, upon asking Gai whether he had any female or male relatives who were white-haired, he pulled out his handy-dandy family photo album (matching green cover), wherein he showed his huge (and scarily Gai-like) extended family. His old mom, his deceased father (complete with black hair and huge eyebrows), his uncles, aunts, cousins and various removed relatives.

Lee, needless to say was entranced by Gai's invitation to the family monthly dinner the next day. Returning home, Neji and TenTen walked like zombies – forever scarred. Lee however had enjoyed himself and vowed to return there as much as possible. TenTen just shook her head.

"I didn't think a female Lee existed…"

"Now I know…"

"What did Shino say?" asked Neji. "Ignorance is bliss?"

"Something like that."

* * *

Asuma and Kurenai each had a couple of family members with pure white hair – from old age. Kurenai though had a female cousin with whitish hair (due to shock from a genjutsu during training). Hinata nabbed the photo when her sensei wasn't looking.

* * *

Looking at their small collection of photos of female nins with white hair (3), the group of Genins shook their head.

"So maybe it IS a man," TenTen said with a sigh.

"How cute!" Sakura smiled.

All the boys shuddered.

"What if – what if – what if it was Mizuki-sensei?" asked Naruto.

"Who?"

"You know – Mizuki-sensei…"

"Hey…" Shikamaru said. "He did some thing bad with some ancient jutsu scroll and hurt Iruka and ended up in jail – I heard gossip about that in the teacher's room."

Everybody sighed enviously – Shikamaru was able to lounge around with teachers in the teacher's common room and hear tons of delicious gossip!

"And -?"

"And…"

"And?" They chorused.

"Well… he's in jail – couldn't have been him…"

Everybody sighed in relief.

Iruka deserved better.

"But he could have escaped."

Everybody jumped.

"Maybe we should tell somebody," Hinata stuttered.

"What?" Naruto asked in her face. "I didn't hear you…"

"What would we say?" asked Neji. "Um, Hokage-sama, we think Mizuki is loose because we think we saw him in Iruka's classroom bringing lunch to Iruka and kissing him?"  
"Sounds farfetched to me," sniffed Sasuke.

"Fact is stranger than fiction sometimes…" Shino murmured, turning away from a spy bug's report.

"Eh… why do you say such dumb things, Shino…" Naruto grumbled. "I don't understand."

"You never do," Chouji said between munching some chips. "That's why you wouldn't be a main character in a story – you're so clueless."

But Shino felt huffy.

He decided not to say anything about his news breaking info.

_Let Naruto and his pals TRY to figure it out on their own… feh…. Idiots. Right in front of their nose – so THERE – that none of them could see…._

"Maybe we should go to our sensei and get them to help us!" Lee said in a nice guy pose. "I'm sure their reconnaissance skills are better than ours!"

Neji and TenTen thought about Gai-sensei. So he was pretty scary. And rather loud. But he was also serious. And knew when to keep his mouth shut. And he could beat Kaka-sensei on a good day when they did their weekly matches.

Lee's idea wasn't so bad.

Hinata, Shino and Kiba considered their sensei, Kurenai. She looked hot. She dressed nice all the time – something most shinobi could only aspire to. And her eye shadow was always well done in Hinata's opinion. Okay, so she looked like a wind could knock her over – still, the team had seen her do some really good genjutsu on people before. She would be an asset.

Lee's idea had some merit.

Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji sighed as they thought about Asuma-sensei. He was strong and big and very menacing looking. Okay – so he always harped on and on about training – but that only went to show how dedicated he was. Chouji thought him harsh sometimes – but he also knew that if Kurenai could be strung in, Asuma would follow along willingly without comment. He'd be a good interrogator if nothing else.

Lee's idea sounded okay.

Team 7 sweat-dropped as they visualized their sensei during their last mission of gardening. He had spent the entire time in the tree above them giggling about something in his perverted book. Okay – so Kaka-sensei had the Sharingan – but he only revealed it when the situation was life threatening. He never took anything super seriously (perhaps a sign of greatness, but annoying) and he was always late – and a bad liar to boot.

Lee's idea sounded crap ass.

"It's a crap ass idea!" Naruto yelled, pointing a finger at Lee.

Everybody blinked. (They had assumed everybody was on the same page.)

"Kaka-sensei would ruin it!"

"For once," Sasuke said into the ensuing silence. "I have to agree with the idiot."

"I'm not an idiot, don't call me that!"  
"Shut up, idiot!"

"GYYYAAAAHHH- THUNK!"

Naruto's face was buried in earth as Sakura knocked him unconscious.

"Sasuke-kun is right. Kaka-sensei shouldn't be told…"

**Inner Sakura: DAMN RIGHT!**

"You can just imagine…" She shuddered.

Kakashi would walk right up to Iruka and say something like, "So… Iruka-sensei… I hear you're doing the naughty during your lunches… can I watch?"

**(flick, Sharingan revealed)**

Sakura shook her head violently banishing the disturbing image.

The Genins sweat-dropped.

"Fine," Neji said. "You wait for us to finish gathering our senseis. Tomorrow we bring them to the white arch platform."

* * *

Will the Genins open up to their sensei? What will the sensei say to this shocking revelation? Who else is to be roped into this scheme? Next episode: Sensei Gossip!

Please review!


	4. Gossiping Sensei

**Don't own Naruto… just as well…**

**THANK YOU TO ALL MY KIND REVIEWERS!**

**tsukiraven: Kakashi says the darndest things! hahaha!**

**Aki the Whackso: (fending Aki off) Don't eat me! Here's an update! Hope you like!**

**Pimp Troyce: Seems like everybody loves that line... hmmm... one-liners... gotta love 'em...**

**Iris.D and Inuyashafeudalgirl: Glad you're laughing! Hope you think this is funny too!**

**Anya Urameshi: Heh heh heh! Just wait until you see how dumb Jounins and Chuunins can be! But yeah, Shika would've figured it out first, right?**

**svartkitten: Glad you're laughing... well... anybody can guess who Iruka's lovebirdie is... hahaha! yeah... Just so cute!**

**chidorimaniac: You like KakaSaku, right? Maybe this fic isn't for you! Check out Gentle Lesson. I've put a new chapter up!**

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**Chapter 4: Gossiping Sensei**

Meanwhile, Gai, Asuma and Kurenai, sitting in a café drinking some tea….

As Gai recounted (painful blow by painful blow) the account of Neji, TenTen and Lee's introduction to the Maito clan – he proclaimed it to nobody in particular – Asuma and Kurenai just stared.

After a moment.

"Something's up. I can feel it," Kurenai said.

"Ahh…"

"This is just –" A pause. "Unnatural."  
"Ahh…"

"And there's something wrong with Hinata too…"  
"Hmmmm…" Asuma inhaled his cigarette smoke serenely.

"She swiped my photo of Yuki."

"Yuki?"

"I know. AFTER asking about whether I had any white-haired relatives living – mostly girls…"  
There was a moment of relative silence (Gai was winding down).

"Funny. Ino asked me if I had any white-haired males or females still living in my clan… or seen any in the shinobi ranks…"

There was another moment of silent (total: Gai had stopped).

"So I pointed out to her Hira."

An ear twitched underneath a bowl cut.

Gai turned.

"That's how the whole family reunion things started! TenTen asked if I had any white-haired relatives. I'm afraid the only white-haired relatives I have are too old for her interest, though."

"Perhaps it's a fanclub…"  
"Dumb fanclubs."

* * *

A huge pack of girls passed screaming Sasuke's name.

"Damn fanclubs."

* * *

"Yes, I must agree with you, Asuma. The fanclub of my eternal rival Kakashi is indeed very scary." Gai nodded very seriously.

"Either way," Kurenai said impatiently. "It seems as if all of our girls have gone crazy looking for white-haired ninjas – male or female."

"Very bizarre. But then – look at them – they're to be the future Konoha ninja – bizarreness is a must."

Gai nodded. Thanks to him – the legend of the Green Beast of Konoha would continue.

Kakashi passed by.

"Yo!"

He didn't sit down – he was obviously on his way home – bearing a bag full of meat, rice, sauces, sake and candles.

Kurenai blinked.

* * *

_Since when did Kakashi go all out for himself?_

* * *

"I was wondering, my eternal rival, if you noticed – as I have – the strange interests of our Genin."

Kakashi blinked.

"Eh? What strange interests? Aren't they all strange?"  
Asuma chuckled.

"It's about the girls really – well – the boys seemed interested too – but the girls were asking about white-haired relatives – grey or silver-ish, too…. Living and ninja preferably…"

"Were you approached?" asked Kurenai.

But from the shift in Kakashi's eye, the ninjas could already tell that he had been approached as well.

_And it can't have been a nice reminder either… all of his relatives are dead – the white hair of the Hatake is well nigh extinct_, Asuma sighed as he pondered Kakashi's past.

Kakashi's eye suddenly came to earth as Gai turned to him (obviously at the end of a sentence) saying, "- and what do you think of that, eh, Kakashi?"  
"Eh? What did you say?"  
"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Stop being so hip and cool, my eternal rival! You always respond in such a relaxed and hip way!"

Gai burst into flames.

Kakashi blinked.

Asuma rolled his eyes.

Kurenai sighed.

Boys will be boys.

Kakashi passed on without further adieu. Gai watched him walk away.

* * *

"I think he's got a girl."

"Maybe."

"Or he's deluded."  
"Aren't we all?" asked Genma as he sat down beside them.

The Examiner looked hassled. His eyes were slightly baggy and spacey – his senbon quirked up and down madly. Even his bandana was slightly askew.

"What have you been doing?" asked Asuma. "Wait! I don't want to know…"  
Genma smirked.

"You don't know what you're missing, guys!"

He paused.

"Why the solemn faces?"

"Something weird's been happening."

"And we've been trying to solve it!" Gai said, sparkling his teeth.

"I'm in!"  
"It's something to do with an enquiry about white-haired ninja relatives – not too old - not too young…."

"An enquiry made by our Genin girls – well, the boys seemed interesting… even Kakashi's team inquired about it…"  
"I'm out!"

"But you said you wanted to help."  
"I will help – anything that doesn't have to do with bratty kids – I'll help with. Orochimaru has nothing on them."

"You love being the sarcastic Chuunin examiner – other than the war thing, it hasn't been that bad," Raido sat down. "Even then you did nothing but stare at Baki and look cool! You didn't even get a scratch!"  
" 'The war thing'?" asked Kurenai. "That wasn't JUST a thing…"  
"Denial," mouthed Genma.

"I can lip read you know," grumbled Raido.

"Anyway. I hate kids. I had to deal with them ALL morning – I don't think I could deal with them in my spare time."

"You were with kids today?" asked Asuma. "I should have guessed. Normally you don't look so wiped out after –"

* * *

Asuma twitched his cigarette.

The senbon twitched sympathetically – Genma moved his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other.

* * *

"Well… there was THAT too… But let me tell you, I'm never subbing for Iruka again! Why does the guy have to get sick?"

A pause. Gai was still trying to figure out the innuendos.

"Anyway – we need help figuring out why our bright, youthful students are behaving in such odd mannerisms. To be sure, the questioning brought our hearts closer in understanding and appreciation of the strength of Konoha's clans, but still – it worries me that our kawaii students – such as our cute Lee – need our help and haven't come to us yet."  
"Fear not – they're coming…." Genma murmured looking out the window in a very abstract manner.

"I would have reached out and given them all the help they needed," Gai sighed theatrically. "I'm the teacher who is willing to spend any hour of the day helping a student even with the most private matters…"

"You can help them now…" Genma edged away, Raido grabbed him and pulled him close.

* * *

"No life," Kurenai whispered.

"Agree," mumbled Raido.

* * *

"I would like to think that the bond of teacher and student has become more like family so that they would feel it alright to come to us for anything."

"It can grow on you but not on me!" Genma said as the three Genin teams came in, obviously looking for their sensei.

* * *

There was a moment of silence as the children looked at their sensei (and Genma and Raido) with a frightening intensity. No doubt because a large part of them WERE frightened.

Genma was trying to edge away – but Raido just stared at the kids as he pinned Genma's hand in his lap. Genma gave up.

* * *

"Shit. What do we do now? They weren't supposed to be together…"

"Woof."

"Shhh…. Akamaru! They'll hear you."

"Not that they'd understand him anyway, stupid dog."

* * *

Another momentous pause.

"Is there anything you'd like us to help you with?" asked Kurenai, jumping the gun with a sweet smile before Gai could scare them all away with the teacher/student closeness crap.

"K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-"  
HInata couldn't get it out.

Genma looked pained.

"We just wanted to talk to our sensei." TenTen said.

A pause.

"Privately." Ino said.

"Well – we all know you're going to ask about the same thing so why don't we just bring it out into the open?" asked Kurenai again.

* * *

"Damn! They know something's up!"

"How do they do it?"  
"Wuf!"

"Hell, yeah! Akamaru!"

"Have you ever heard of the proverb, 'Silence is golden'?"

"Shino (snarl)…"

"K-k-k-k-kiba-kun!"

* * *

Neji stepped forward.

"It seems that Naruto was told by Konohamaru that a white-haired – or grey-haired person was leaving Iruka's classroom during lunch time."

He paused.

The sensei, the examiner and the guard blinked.

The drama was intense.

* * *

"Iruka is a spy?" asked Raido, disbelievingly.

"Iruka is accepting bribes?" asked Genma.

"Iruka just met with a parent?" asked Kurenai.

"It wasn't Iruka?" asked Asuma.

"Iruka has got an eternal rival?"

* * *

Neji sighed.

"He left after, presumably giving Iruka his lunch AND giving him a full mouth to mouth kiss."

* * *

"A girlfriend?" Raido asked. "He got a girlfriend?"

"Why didn't he tell me?" wailed Kurenai.

"Good for him…. So envious…" Asuma sighed, casting a hopeful eye on Kurenai.

"Lucky bastard – keeping it in the dark too –" Genma wondered.

"Celebration! Iruka-sensei has found someone to share his springtime of youth with!"

* * *

"But the person had a man's voice."

Everybody froze.

Gai mid-pose, Asuma mid-way through the sake bottle opening, Genma mid-kiss with Raido, Kurenai mid – nothing…

"Ehhhh? A guy?"

"Well… we thought it was a henge maybe…" Ino broke in.

All the sensei leaned forward and the couple of Chuunins at the bar.

Neji was enjoying his importance. Sasuke could never one up him on this!

"Anyhow, Naruto and his team went to spy on Iruka – and it was a white-haired person with a green vest."

"Kakashi?"

"Noo… couldn't have been him. He never gets up before 12 o'clock, according to Naruto."  
"Plus – he's a pervert – but hetero – if you go by his reading material…"

Kurenai sniffed in disgust.

Genma smirked.

"Kakashi and Iruka – impossible."

"Why?" asked Shikamaru. "Is it too troublesome?"  
"Chuunin and Jounin don't mix well. It never lasts…"  
"So romantic…"  
"No. Not possible…."

"Plus… Kakashi's hair is more grey-ish, isn't it?"  
"Well, some days it looks white…."

"Maybe he just doesn't wash it when he should…"  
"Or dyes it…"

"Okay, okay, so my eternal rival is NOT the lucky one who has stolen Iruka-sensei's heart! It is obviously henge. But henge cannot disguise the voice – unless it's superior henge. It is obvious we must infiltrate the class room and catch the two lovebirds in the deed."  
"The deed…" Genma sighed. "Sounds hot…"  
"Hmmmm…. I wonder what happens in that classroom…."

"Yeah…"

"Sounds like a good plan, eh, Akamaru!"

"That's Gai-sensei! Always smart! I hope to shine for you one day, Gai-sensei!"

All the Genin cringed as Lee looked up adoringly at his idol.

Gai placing his arms around Lee (everybody shivered), smiled and said, "Don't worry, Lee! We'll reach the sunset together!"

Somewhere cheesy music played, a large sun set, the waves beat upon the rocks and gulls cried.

* * *

NEXT UP: Jounin's plan of action. The Action. The Genin's plan of Action. Their Action. What's going to happen to Iruka? Will they find out the lover?


	5. Revelation?

Don't own Naruto!

Sorry for the shortness of the chapter! Hopefully I'll be able to get some more up later!

THANKS TO ALL REVIEWERS! Please review – then I'll know if this is worth continuing or not!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 6: Revelation?

The sun rose without much ado the next day. The skies were clear and crisp in the early morning – somewhere a bird sang on the thorn – God was in heaven – all was right with the world. Lambs skipped and played in the green, green meadows, ninja began to rise – in Kakashi and Genma's case, rise VEERRRRY slowly – to start another day of killing, assassinating and whatever else ninjas do on an ordinary day.

It was 6:30 in this part of the world.

And for Iruka, the day (of preparatory study, then mission room, then class and then mission room) began exceptionally well – he put his best foot forward and smiled, feeling that once again, he was looking forward to another day of molding the young minds of the future.

In fact, he looked exceptionally cute and perky as he entered his room, whistling a tune – before he ran out and threw up his breakfast in the bathroom.

Okay. So he wasn't exactly feeling well, but he felt that lunch time would cheer him up no end. He just had to survive it that long.

Genma couldn't believe it.

"Inhuman…." He whispered to Raidou (standing with his back against the farthest classroom wall).

Iruka stopped mid-whistle and craned his head.

He shrugged.

Just his imagination.

He hoped.

Raido pinched Genma.

Hard.

Genma's face contorted in silent pain.

But he said nothing.

He hadn't gotten an A in Ibiki's Interrogation 101 for nothing.

Iruka finished his morning preparations. Set out sheets, double checked the state of the chalkboard erasers, made sure Konohamaru had emptied the pencil sharpener as he was supposed to – and then left for the mission room.

* * *

Everybody gave a sigh of relief. 

"That was – well… okay…"

Ibiki nodded. "As long as Shiranui shuts his clap-trap it'll be okay."

"Hmph. If us Jounin can't hide from a measly Chuunin, we're in bad shape anyway," Anko snorted from her invisible position – hanging off the ceiling.

"As long as Kotetsu and Izumo don't blow our cover – " Asuma said with a glare at Genma. "Like Genma nearly did."

"Regardless," Kurenai said to Tsume (who was with Ibiki behind a wall hanging). "It's a good thing Iruka's not feeling too well. If he were any perkier, he would have noticed the genjutsu."

"You think so?" asked Raido. "It looks fine to me."

"Hmm… my eternal rival would have been able to spot it."

"But that's Kakashi for you," Tsume said. "Anal retentive, right?"

"I'm not sure anal is quite the word for it," mused Gai.

* * *

Passing down the hall, five of the Chuunin Teachers chattered about grading, pranksters, troubled kids, trickster jutsus and hideous punishments for kids. 

"They are ALL insane," Genma said. "How do they do it?"

"Did you catch that?" asked one of the teachers.

"Yeah…"

"I guess it's started then."

"Kotetsu had better let us in on the know," another teacher grumbled. "I hate it when something goes down and we're missing on the action."

"Does anybody even know why Iruka-sensei is being targeted by Jounins?"

"Maybe he's a traitor!"

"A spy!"

"Or he's taking bribes?"

"Or maybe," a more sensible teacher suggested, "he's just meeting with a parent?"

"Or it's not Iruka-sensei they are after."

"Maybe it's Konohamaru…."

"He deserves that…"

"Hmph. Little monster."

"Still, I hope we find out."

"Well… we could pass by during lunch time…"

"Just for a peek."

"Guys – that's not a good idea," said the more sensible teacher. "Leave the Jounins to cover it. They'll have our asses if we fuck it up."  
"But Kotetsu, Izumo and Tsume are doing it too!"

"We won't go into the room… just pass by…"

And so the day started.

* * *

12:00 A.M. 

When the lunch hour rolled around, Iruka-sensei was bushed. He had thought (in the early morning when euphoric feelings tended to sweep him along) he would be able to handle a day of school right after his flu bug – but it seemed as if he had overestimated his stamina and underestimated the precociousness of his students on that day.

And there were the two newbies given to him by Herada-sensei, who had said he had too much on his hands (some sort of field trip) which the kids hadn't been able to sign up for – and would Iruka-sensei mind keeping an eye on them?

Iruka felt miffed.

A field trip? He wouldn't have minded taking his class on a field trip with Herada-sensei…

He watched Konohamaru try to slip out of the door yet again.

Or maybe not. Running around trying to stop kids from escaping on a field trip would be harder than cooping them all up in one room under his eye.

But, thank kami, the room was now empty. The lunch break was in full session – his kids (and the two newbies – he couldn't remember their names…) were now terrorizing other kids on the school playground and someone was running late. Still, Iruka decided to redeem the time by marking a few of the papers. He ended up falling asleep.

He woke up to a whump.

Bleary, he focused on a kunai decorated (as an afterthought) with a pink bow and red rose. And a message attached to the ring.

Iruka opened the tiny scroll.

"You're being watched. Meet me in the IchiRaku Ramen shop. My treat."

Iruka blinked.

Watched?

He was being watched?

He felt suddenly that his day was getting worse and worse. Groaning he shut his eyes, stifled a self-pitying sob and focused his energies on his surroundings. Kakashi was right. Iruke felt like an idiot to not notice.

Geez!

The amount of energy surrounding the room – beyond the door in the hallway, beyond the window to his right. In the classroom itself.

Iruka didn't want to know.

He fled.

As soon as he left the building, all of the ninjas tried to surreptitiously follow him.

Perhaps he was leading him to the lover.

* * *

Only Genma stayed behind, to finger the kunai and the note. Raido watched him closely. It wasn't like his friend to be so unenthusiastic about stuff like this. 

"You recognize something?" he asked curiously.

"Mmmmmm…."

"A clue…"

"Yeah…"

"You know who it is then?"

Genma said nothing – merely placing the kunai down.

A moment's pause.

"Yeah."

"So…"

"So what?"

"Tell me!"

"What?"

"C'mmmmooooonnnnn! Teelllllllllll meeee!" whined Raido, producing a pair of puppy eyes that would shame Konohamaru.

"You'll owe me."

"Sure – the whole world!"

"And you can't say anything."

"Yeah, yeah…"

Genma leaned forward – after looking around him surreptitiously – and whispered something in Raido's ear.

"Nooo… impossible…." Raido blinked.

"Totally. It's the knot. A – type of speciality…"

"Squeeee…." Raido tried to stop his nose from bleeding.

"Yeah," sighed Genma. "Me too…."

He paused.

"You owe me."

"I sure do," Raido said and dragged Genma off.

Paying off a debt to Genma was always easy!

* * *

**Next up: Buisness is even better at the Ichiraku Ramen shop now that all of Konoha is here! But why are they all staring at Iruka? Eh? He's got a lover? Perhaps this is an assignation? Next! One who sees through the illusions, one who is NOT a noodle head!**


	6. Seeing Through It All

well... i let this fanfic go... but here's an unexpected update... hope you enjoy this!

THANKS TO ALL WHO'VE REVIEWED! AND TO THOSE WHO WILL REVIEW! AND TO THOSE WHO JUST READ AND LAUGH!

Please do review so that I know I'm on the right track!

I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Chapter 6: Seeing Through It All

Every day he rose from his bed with the promise to have another good day of ramen cooking. After all, he had an image to uphold.

On the other side of the door, he could hear Ayame - _sweet child _- already up and about, cooking breakfast (not ramen!) and getting ready for another day of work at the famous -

ICHIRAKU RAMEN SHOP!

_Still... when one is famous, it's hard to keep up the image..._

Well... it wasn't like today was super special. There were no festivals on - nor exams. No Kage was visiting.

It seemed to be shaping up as the usual day of buisness, which goes thusly:

The early morning rush of single Chuunins (especially bachelors) who couldn't cook to save Konoha.

Then, there was a breathing apce of about two hours - to clean up and start preparing for the inveitable LUNCH RUSH!

And what a lunch rush it was!

It began wwith the usual small trickle -

People came in at 11:30 - the regularly silent ANBU, some of the Academy teachers and tired out Chuunins gang-pressed into mission desk duty. These people didn't want to deal with the crowds of cross, jumpy, bat-shit crazy Jounins who came in later on.

Then at 12:00, the carpenters, farmers, merchants and tradesment came and went quickly - avoiding the cranky Chuunin, creepy ANBU and the expected crowds of cross, jumpy, bat-shit crazy Jounins.

At 12:20, came the shinobi: Tsunade-sama (busy escaping Shizune), Koharu-sama, Iwashi-kun, Ebisu-san -

And last but not least -

Hatake-sama.

He had sat down and ordered a bowl of miso - his usual.

A medium bowl of miso soup.

Tsunade's eye twitched at the sight of the extra-large helping sete before her subordinate.

_So that's how he lives - sponging off people -_

Her eyes widened comically at the sight of the Ramen Shop owner and the girl peering at her Number One Jutsu Technician -

_What the hell..._

"Something's up..." Jiraiya said suddenly behind Tsunade.

Tsunade covered her jump by bring her fist down with a crash onto the counter.

The ramen owner gulped at the miniscule cracks forming...

"Like what? The new security I put up around teh baths?"

"What security?" asked Jiraiya. "You put up security? Ehhh... Didn't notice..."

"DAMMIT!"

"Oi! Calm down, princess!" the Toad Sannin sighed, waving his hands. "I'm talkinga bout something else entirely!"

"Eh?" Tsunade paused. "What the HELL are you talking about? Is it about THEM?"

She pointed out the shop owner and his daughter, standing there with tense expectancy.

Jiraiya blinked.

"What's their problem?"

"I'm asking YOU - because you asked ME."

"Oh no... Not them... it's the - haven't you seen the odd way the Jounin are acting today?"

Kakashi's ear twitched. His finger, pulling down his mask, hesitated 0.0009ths of a second slower than usual.

Ayame and her father's mouths dropped open simultaneously, drool dripping out of the corners of their mouths and hearts in their eyes.

Instead of the 1/4 of a second peek at Kakashi's face, they had received a full 3/4 of asecond view of his totally, indescribable -

Kakashi sweatdropped.

Jiraiya and Tsunade looked disenfranchised.

"Geez... It's Sakumo's trick all over again," Jiraiya sighed.

"Where the hell did that brat learn that? I gotta make it a forbidden jutsu..."

"Ohhhh... You've got a bad nosebleed, granny..."

"Shut up."

"It's going to creep him out..."

"SHUT UP! DAMMIT!"

* * *

Kakashi blinked as he settled his chopsticks down on top of his bowl, politely - just as Iruka walked in and sat down beside his superior, looking frazzled - harassed - and slightly scared.

"Ara! It's Kakashi-san - and Iwashi-kun! How's it going?" He tried to smile despite the headache forming above his eyebrows -

It was the burden of all those EYES!

Because, yes, the Ramen Shop was suddenly packed out.

* * *

"Hmmmm... what're you going to choose, Sasuke-kun?" asked Ino.

"It's none of your buisness."

"Yeah, Ino. Back off!"

"Make me, forehead girl!"

"You're just behaving like a repulsive PIG!"

"And you're behaving like a -"

"Oi..." Shikamaru put in lazily, slumping onto the counter as he snagged a suddenly endangered stool (there were very few to go around). "Can we not... have... a..."

The Chuunin trailed away at the sight of the girls' whitened, enlarged SCARY EYES.

"Three bowls of beef, pork and chicken ramen!" Naruto waved his hand.

"Same here!" chorused Chouji and Kiba.

"PIG! Eat some vegetables!" yelled Sakura, smacking her partner upside the head.

Naruto whimpered, Chouji and Kiba edged away.

"Yo. Naruto... you need to eat some vegetables or you're never going to get proper nourishment for growth. Seriously," Kakashi put in.

He sighed (inwardly, of course) at the sight of all the Genin, Chuunin and Jounin gathered.

_

* * *

Is it by any chance Ruin-A-Date Day?_

* * *

Neji's eyes narrowed._

* * *

That was..._

* * *

"Hmmm..."

"What is it, Neji?" whispered Tenten.

Neji backed away into a far away corner and activated his Byukugan.

"What do you see? A bomb? A hidden weapon? A psy? Hinata-chan?"

"No."

The Hyuuga released the jutsu, his mouth trying to keep itself in its regularly angsty pout (but it's just too cute to see!).

"I just saw the dissappointment of a lover," he said rather abruptly.

"Who? Who?" Tenten hissed.

"Hmmmm..."

"Tell me... dammit!"

"Hmmmm..."

"I'll give you a free three-day lesson on a private, all-inclusive weapons targeting class."

"Seven."

"Five."

"Six."

"Six, it is then," Tenten aquiesced with a grin. "So what is it?"

Neji just cocked his head.

"Oh..." Tenten's eyes followed her teammate's gaze to:

Kakashi leaning closely to Iruka, jabbing a finger disdainfully at a piece of shrimp. Iruka, smacking the Jounin's fingers away, with a tiny smile and a mild blush.

"No way..."

Tenten collapsed from sudden blood loss; Neji rushed her out of the door.

"Hey, Neji," Shikamaru called, eyes glinting. "Something come up?"

"Weapon targeting class," Neji said shortly.

"Uhhh... what happened?" asked Naruto.

"It's too troublesome to explain," sighed Shikamaru.

"No clue," Kiba shook his head.

"Who cares?" shrugged Chouji. "More room and food for us."

"It's the beginning of wisdom," hinted Shino darkly.

Everybody blinked.

**

* * *

Everybody: Ooookkkaaayyyy...**

* * *

"So..." Kurenai whispered to Asuma and Ibiki. "It's a no show, I guess."

"Too bad," Asuma sighed. "Oh well... another day..."

"Hmmm..." Ibiki said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "No show, huh..."

"Yo!" Jiraiya's head suddenly joined the huddle. "What's up? Can I join in the fun? Asuma-kun?"

"Uhhh... sure..."

"So - what's it all about?"

Kotetsu gave the Sannin a whispered sum up of the meager information they had managed to gather.

"So he's accepting bribes?" asked Jiraiya. "Or meeting with a spy?"

"Or perhaps -" Tsuande rolled ehr eyes at her idiotic, ex-teammate. "Perhaps he was just meeting with a parent - or maybe it wasn't Iruka at all?"

"No way - Konohamaru said it was his teacher!"

"Konohamaru, huh. That's what you said, Kurenai?"

"Uhhh... yeah..."

"That little perverted brat - he'd see anything - the way hel ikes to somther himself in breasts -"

Jiraiya, Kotetsu, Izumo, Asuma and Ibiki's eyes were instantly drawn to the low slung kimono on the Kage. And the unending cleavage.

Konohamaru had tasted the delights of -

_WAAIIITTTT!_

"IDIOTS!" huffed Tsunade, whacking all the men on the head.

"Tsunade!" wailed Shizune, trying to pick up the cracked utensils and bowls - and what was left of teh shop's flags and counter. "Please be calm!"

* * *

"Well... that's that," Iruka was saying to Aoba and Ebisu, as he finished up his bowl. "I guess I better get back to the mission desk, huh?"

"I'll walk with you," Kakashi said calmly (amidst the violent fuss of Tsunade, the stuttered apologies of the Jounin to shop owner, and the whimpering of the civilians around the area). "I've got a report to hand in."

"Okay," Iruka shrugged. "The more the merrier!"

Ayame watched the two men walk off, her eyes falling on Kakashi's lingering fingers on Iruka's elbow.

She keeled backward in a daze - eyes woozy.

"Ayama-chan! Ayame-chan! What's wrong?" wailed Naruto. "Is it because we've overworked you? Is it hot back there?"

"Well... there were alot of customers..." Sakura pointed out.

"Idiots..." Sasuke sighed.

_What's with the girl's nosebleed..._

"That is the beginning of understanding," Shino intoned solemnly - and walked away.

"You know something, Ayame-san?" asked Sasuke, intently.

"Uhhh..." Ayame blushed. "I guess it's so hot back here - I was overcome!"

_

* * *

I can't let anybody know about Hatake-sama's beautiful, heart-throbbing secret! WAHHH! He should be mine! But then - he's so cute around Iruka-kun! I guess it's to be expected. Iruka-sensei is a good hearted person. It's no wonder that Hatake-sama would smile only for him... MOE!_

* * *

"Okay..." Sasuke spun on his heels and left.

"Hey! Where are you going?" asked Sakura and Ino (at the same time).

"Away from all this stupidity, idiots. It's boring now that Iruka-sensei's gone."

"But we still have to figure it out!"

"I think that's enough trailing for today," Ibiki said kindly (but didn't succeed since the Genins merely inched away from him even more). "I think Iruka-sensei needs a break, ne?"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The Genins screamed. "He's smiling!"

They disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

* * *

"Good work, Ibiki!" Tsunade smiled. "This sure clears the air. Now we can get down to buisness."

"Ah! Yes. I've been meaning to talk to you about ANBU recruitment and border duties -"

"No, no... something more important than that!"

"Eh?"

"Who's dating Iruka-sensei!"

All the Jounins sighed.

"What did you do?" Kurenai asked Asuma. "Now there's no stopping them."

* * *

That night, Ayame was settling down for the night, when her father passed by her bedroom door.

"Today was good for buisness... and just when we thought we were entering the quiet season!" Her father smiled. "It's great. How do you feel? Do you still feel faint? Perhaps you should rest up - or go on vacation or something?"

"Uhh... I'm okay. I'm happy about the buisness..."

"I sense a 'but'..."

"But... I found out today that Hatake-sama's heart is taken."

"Ohhhh... so that's what all those people were whispering about? Iruka-sensei was wondering."

"No... they were whispering about Iruka-sensei finding an unknown lover."

"Don't tell me there's a connection."

"Yeah... but... I didn't say anything - because I think Hatake-sama is a private person. He hasn't said anything to anybody else... so... I'm keeping it a secret."

"You've got a good heart, Ayame-chan. Don't worry. There's somebody out there for you!"

"Hmmmm... but you should have seen them together, father... It was just too much for a girl to bear!"

Crawling into his bed with visions of his favorite customers - Iruka-sensei and Hatake-sama - together, dancing in his head, the IchiRaku Ramen shop owner couldn't help but sigh.

_It really is too much for a man to bear._

And he nursed a nosebleed all night long.

------

**WHAT DO YOU THINK? BAD? GOOD?**

**_So far the people who've figured it out:_**

**Shikamaru**

**Genma**

**Raido**

**Neji**

**Tenten**

**Ayame**

**Ayame's father**

**Chouji (he understands that Shikamaru knows and doesn't care)**

**Shino**


End file.
